Do you know what it means to 'slow walk'? No not down the isle as in a bridal march. Apparently this is a common term of endearment among single men to describe the process of dating the woman of your dreams and a back up woman just in case.
Join #TXNL Interpersonal Remedies To put it plainly apparently many men are aware of the high standards of the woman of their dream and unwilling to change to live up to those expectations. So they get a 'side chic' to pass time until the woman of their dreams is ready or willing to lower her standards; or in the event that she moves on. What this looks like in every day life if you're not privy to the boys club technique is a person who seems to be single and playing the field or "just friends" with someone then all of a sudden they marry someone else. Many of the men in question are not the type to just get married easily so it is evident in these instances that there has been an ongoing serious relationship that they were keeping secret. I've seen this a lot lately and it's very disturbing to me. It takes the fun out of dating when you have to wonder if it's a complete waste of time or if you're being deceived. You know the signs: the person is unavailable for no good reason, prefer texting to phone calls, and is secretive with their personal life and how they spend their time. When you ask them what they did for the weekend, they get defensive and accuse you of being controlling or jealous instead of thinking you just want to see how their weekend was.
Join #TXNL Single Remedies Dating doesn't have to be stressful and neither does finding selecting the right one. Let me help put an end to the confusion. May I present to you: The Living Sugar Free Dating Rules of Engagement
- Be honest about your feelings. If you don't like the person romantically, don't try to lead them on just to secure you have someone to occupy your time.
- If there is someone you're serious about, let them know and ask them to work with you on what is not right. Don't leave it to chance that they know how you feel.
- It's not your right or your place to interfere with someone else's future. Don't waste anyone's time making them think there is a future for you and them, if you know that there is not.
- Be willing to change. If the person of your dreams has higher standards than you, it's time to upgrade yourself. Take a class, read a book and then let them know you did it.
- Don't water down the dating pool by pretending to be single when you're not. Single means, not obligated or committed; not engaged; not going steady; not girlfriend and boyfriend. You can do what you want and be honest about it with no repercussions.
- Treat people in such a way that you can remain friends after dating; deception is a sure way to ruin that.
- If you're really single, "may the best man/woman win." Nothing like a little honest and open competition to keep people focused.
- If you decide to tie the not, all people you are seeing romantically should be well aware before you make the big announcement. How embarrassing to the ones you've left hanging when their friends ask whatever happened to you.
- If you plan on having a long and happy marriage start with the right foundation and 'slow walking' is not it. It will probably come back to bite you in the end.
- This is by no means an exhaustive list. Please add your own rules in the comments... and when all else fails, use your best judgement.
If you're on the receiving end of such news, all I can say is kick the dust off your feet and keep it movin'. If someone you're investing in up and gets married out of the blue to someone else; they aren't worth your grief.