Okay they didn't say it right; or he called you sweetheart; or pretty dark skinned girl; or she said you were weak; or crazy. I've come to realize that the reason we can't get along is because as individuals we spend too much time judging people. In relationships this is very unhealthy and as a culture it causes bullying and depression to be perpetuated. If you want to be happy with another individual you must realize that they are different from you. Their behaviors, words and actions do not equal the same as yours, or your parents, or the last person who broke your heart. Learn to ask questions and communicate to understand the heart and intent of the other person instead of trying to force them into a box that you are trying to escape. Even when negotiating change, you can't coach anyone if you don't really understand why they are where they are. Do not judge another's words until you have taken the time to understand where they come from and where they are trying to go.